My daughter and son are heroin addicts. After living through this hell for 11 years, I have reached my breaking point. My daughter, who just turned 18, is in jail. My heart is broken. Therapists, parent sessions, etc. haven’t helped.
I’m 60 years old and should be retiring, but my retirement money was all spent on rehabs, etc. I won’t even go into the many items that were stolen from me.
How do I move on? I’m so depressed I can’t get out of bed in the morning, and I cry all day. I don’t want to take meds for depression because drugs have caused all my misery. My marriage is falling apart too. How do I carry on with this misery?
— Miserable in Connecticut
Dear Miserable The way to carry on is to let it go. If you haven’t heard of Nar-Anon, you should check into it. It’s a support group for the family and friends of people who are addicted to narcotics, based on the principles of Al-Anon, which is for the loved ones of alcoholics. Help is as near as your computer. Visit nar-anon.org to find a group near you, and you will find that you are not as alone as you feel right now.
Dear Abby: Five years ago I discovered my wife had been cheating on me with an ex-boyfriend for eight years. We have two young children, so we resolved our differences and decided against divorce.
Now she says she wants us to have another baby. I feel I cannot handle a pregnancy with her because of her infidelity. As a hands-on father, I would want to be part of the pregnancy and the complications/changes that come with it. How should I handle this and express to her why I cannot (at this point) have another child with her?
— Hands-On Dad
Dear Dad: Clearly you are not over your wife’s infidelity, and frankly, I can’t blame you. The best way to get the message across to her would be during marriage counseling.
Dear Abby: Several years ago I gifted one of my nephews, who was serving in the military at the time, with a .38-caliber revolver that had belonged to my uncle and reportedly had been used during World War I. I also gave his older brother a Colt .45 pistol from World War II.
The nephew with the .38 revolver suffered from PTSD and died several years ago. The gun went to his father. My question is, shouldn’t I have been asked if I wanted the revolver returned? I didn’t give it to his father but to him. The father has made no attempt to return it to me.
Abby, guns with histories are very personal to owners, and this one was doubly personal and an antique. What should I do?
— Empty Holster in Texas
Dear Empty Holster: Technically, once a gift is given it becomes the property of the person who receives it. Because your nephew is deceased — and I’m assuming his father is his next of kin — the gun became the father’s property. Since the gun has emotional significance to you because of its history, depending upon your relationship with the father, you can ask him to return it — or offer to buy it back from him. However, there is no guarantee he will agree to your request.
Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.